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David Paul Morris/Getty Images
David Paul Morris/Getty Images

Certain things are naturally exciting. Christmas Day. Opening day of deer season. Your birthday; all exciting. But, the McRib is coming back? Come on, are you serious?

Before we get any further into this discussion, I must disclaim that I am certainly no educated food expert.  Foodies don't stop me on the street begging me for my thoughts on some new casserole.

My opinion about food is no more relevant or holds any more water than any other Joe Schmo, but I've discovered that there are loads of other people who feel the same.

McDonald's has announced that the McRib will return to participating restaurants on November 1, which is nearly a full month earlier than it made its annual return in 2020.

Granted, there are thousands, if not millions, of people who traditionally mark this date on their calendar and will scarf up this barbecue sandwich while it remains on the menu every week, if not daily.

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Scott Olson/Getty Images

Hey, with so many fast food places solely focused on chicken, I'm tickled they're celebrating pork, "the other white meat", but is this cause for an entire country to kick every other culinary idea to the curb to go grab one? I think not.

To be honest, I might love it, but I don't know. Never tried one. Don't intend to try one.

Why? Same reason I've never tried Taco Bell's "Taco Fries." I have no imagination. I'm a creature of habit. I like what I like. I'm the guy who will walk into Baskin Robbins and order chocolate. Nothing added. Just 2 scoops of chocolate and my life is good.

To add to my argument, the description of the McRib just doesn't sound good. One look at Wikipedia and you'll understand:

The McRib consists of a restructured boneless pork patty shaped like a miniature rack of ribs, barbecue sauce, onions, and pickles, served as a sandwich on a 5½ inch (14 cm) roll. ... It is primarily composed of ground pork shoulder.

Does That Description Sound Familiar?

Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Sounds like artistically carved SPAM doesn't it?  I love SPAM, but it's not something I'd want from a fast food restaurant. SPAM is meant to be fried at home and consumed while it's still so hot you have to bounce it from cheek to cheek to avoid scalding your tongue.  Again, not what I want from McDonald's.

What I want from McDonald's is bigger portions of fries. No place on the planet can compete with their fries. Supersized fries are good, but I think they need the "Grocery Bag" of fries. I don't need artistically carved SPAM.

But for those that do, your day is coming! November 1, prepare your palate!

Oh, by the way, McDonald's, if you really want to impress people like me, don't try and do it with a sandwich. Try to get the ice cream machine fixed and you'll have my attention!

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