In the hands of a trained professional, anything can be a weapon. At least that’s what we’ve learned from action movies. And apparently that applies even to the humble Cheez-It.

Not that Andy Gatz, the man who managed to hurt his wife with a Cheez-It, is a ninja or anything, just kind of a jerk.

Gatz confronted his wife about…going to an Earth Day concert. We’re assuming there’s a bit more to it than that, but either way, in the course of the argument, Gatz grabbed a box of Cheez-Its and threw it at his wife.

One of them poked her in the eye, and Gatz, who was violating a restraining order, fled, only to later turn himself in. We assume he had the incriminating orange dust all over him.

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