Sometimes, when the hot rod is leaving the garage, you have to grease up the gears a bit to make her purr. Especially if your chosen hot rod is a 60-year-old woman. But, before you get out the lube, make sure you’re both on the same page about what you’re going to use and who’s going to participate, otherwise someone could end up in jail.

On May 30, Barbara Hall, 60, of Port St. Lucie, FL, was arrested for assaulting her 45-year-old boyfriend with a bottle of olive oil. The olive oil was for use as a lubricant during their sexual encounter. Save the tossing salad jokes. According to the police report, Hall, wanting the full lube experience, also asked if her boyfriend had also brought the Pam. Pam, in her mind, being a non-fat cooking spray.

Unfortunately, to Hall’s boyfriend, Pam was a recent conquest. His guilty conscience made him forget about the spray Pam and instead, he fessed up about the girl Pam. The responding police officer wrote in his report, “He admitted to having sex with Pam recently on her boat when he and Barbara were ‘broke up,’ which started an argument between them.”

The fight turned violent when Hall threw her drink at the man and then started to strike him. The report says he restrained her (despite her slipperiness), but she threw the bottle of olive oil and a flashlight at him. He had some red marks and lacerations when the police arrived, but refused treatment and didn’t want to press charges.

At that point, poor Barbara Hall was all lubed up with no where to go but the back of a police car.

 

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