Football player Terrell Owens has been bouncing from team to team and job to job for a reason. He’s Terrell Owens.

The latest low point in TO’s life managed to reach its lowest yet when the Indoor Football League’s Allen Wranglers in Allen, Texas released him for “lack of effort both on and off the field” after he told the team’s coaches he wouldn’t be playing in certain away games and failed to show up to a scheduled team appearance for a children’s hospital. Here’s his reasons for TO simply being TO.

1. Turns out his empathy coach was just the guy talking back to him in his bedroom mirror.

2. Forgot that being the greatest wide receiver of all-time actually involves playing.

3. Ran out of time to practice being a dedicated father of four illegitimate children.

4. The team didn’t have a helmet big enough to fit him and his ego.

5. Having to go on the road would require him to spend too much time away from his loved ones, like his bedroom mirror, his bathroom mirror and his car’s rearview mirror.

6. Didn’t realize that signing a contract meant he would actually have to show up and play this time.

7. Never learned how to spell “T-E-A-M.”

8. When the coach told him to give 110 percent, he didn’t realize math would be part of his job duties.

9. Coach wouldn’t let him play quarterback so he could get more passes to himself on the field.

10. Owners refused to name the team ‘The Terrell Owens.’

11. He has no one to blame but himself, so that’s why he’s blaming everyone around him.

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