10 Signs You’ve Got March Madness
The country is rapidly approaching March Madness, an annual celebration of rabid sports fandom and hallowed college tradition. Every year, NCAA fans follow their alma mater or college they’d go to if grades and criminal records didn’t matter from hope and glory to everlasting victory or crushing defeat.
Of course, any diehard fan can take their love for their team too far and since the NCAA tournament allows even the little guy to become big winners, the potential for fans losing what’s left of their sanity is pretty high. If you think someone you know might be suffering from March Madness, read one of the telltale signs below and then seek professional help for them immediately.
1. Your office betting pool includes your children as collateral.
2. You’re not allowed within 1,000 yards of Anthony Davis’ jock strap.
3. You’re rooting for Duke.
4. You took your son out of Princeton and enrolled him in Long Island U just so you’d have a team to root for this year.
5. Your bookie has made so much money off your picks last year that he was able to buy commercial time for his services during the last Super Bowl.
6. Before filling out your bracket, you tried eating a basketball so you could “ingest its wisdom.”
7. You tried to convince your wife that your daughter wedding’s aisle walk should be executed with an aggressive 2-3 zone defense.
8. You’re puzzled why a talented team like the Harlem Globetrotters can never make it to the Final Four.
9. Since the season started, you’ve been on a special diet of nothing but buckeyes.
10. You called your wife for “traveling” in bed.